Worst Chatup Lines Ever!

[Magical Trevor]

Anyone got any rubbish chatup lines the want to share? Heres one to get you started, guaranteed to get you nowhere

"How about we do some maths, add me and you, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and lets multiply!"

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"Wow, you're hot, wanna F*&$#?"

[Wanna-be Buddha]

"Nice face. Wanna sit on mine?"

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"You'll do."

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"You've got the whitest teeth I've ever come across....."


Yeesh.. sorry gals :) haha

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"You don't sweat much for a fat chick..." ;)

[merry slug]

Worst pickup lines?

Anything tried on me after my more attractive girlfriend makes it clear that she's not interested.

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Worst pickup lines?

Anything tried on me after my more attractive girlfriend make it clear that she's not interested.

Now how can she be more attractive than you? Impossible...

[Bernard]

I'll be finished with the ciprofloxacin next tuesday!

[merry slug]

Now how can she be more attractive than you? Impossible...


http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d16/merryslug/adult.gif ILLB

Now that's the winning pick up line!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

merry, you flutter my heart...

"If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous"

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

[merry slug]

You guys are the cure for the blues :D

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Was your dad a farmer, cuz you have nice melons.

[16L43]

One I get at least twice a week in my line of work--

"What can I do for you to make this ticket go away?"

(My usual answer is "Slow down and please sign on the line at the bottom of the form. It's not an admission of guilt, just a promise you'll appear in court on the date in question"...c'mon, like I'm going to risk being fired and possibly going to jail for something like that. The best way not to get a ticket is to have all your vehicle paperwork in order, a non-suspended operators license and a lack of attitude. 90% of those go on their way with either a verbal or written warning...)

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

16L43's pickup lines that work...

"Hi, I'm a cop. Would you like t.... OOMPH"

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

The fact that I'm missing my teeth means there is more room for your tongue.

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

What? I can't hear you! You need to move your thighs from around my head...

[YouFirst]

"Nice outfit, it'd look better on my bedroom floor."

Sooo cheesey...

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

I still live with my mom, can she join us?

[SareEru]

Wow, you've got big :censored:!
Seriously, a guy told this to me once and proceeded to ask me out...

my answer=no

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Wow, Sare, you've got huge ones... can I see them?

[SareEru]

my answer=no

[Rocky Raccoon]

If I told you you had a nice body would you hold it against me?

[SareEru]

Only, if you are not Eric Clapton...

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Wow Sare, your hair color and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

[SareEru]

I'm only interested in your mind.

See, I want to have sex with you, and I hope you wont mind.
:rotfl:

[major_matt]

Girl I am seeing got asked this one the other day

Hi, I am Fred Flinstone, want to come back and see my BedRock?

[SareEru]

Wow Sare, your hair color and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
So, um, what color is your pillow?

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Umm.. white?

[major_matt]

Cousin used this and scored some girl for the night... I have NO idea how, he was just joking around as he said it though

I dont want to love you, i just want to F^#k you

[SareEru]

Thanks ILLB, just getting ideas on how to coordinate my hair with my bed linens!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

I was talking about getting you in my bed... but whatever helps you out. :)

[SareEru]

I was talking about getting you in my bed... but whatever helps you out. :)
That could be painful since I live thousands of miles away!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

"Are those things ripe?" *Squeeze*

[SareEru]

Ouch, that's my ear!

[mr eko]

Its from a movie,my blue heaven ;)

you gotta be inthe froze food secton of a super market

youre so hott, you can melt all this stuff !:faintthud

[Magical Trevor]

(From Blackadder)

Am I pleased to see you or did I just shove a canoe down my trousers?

[SareEru]

Oh yeah, memory from college....

Guy wants to impress me at a Geological Society party by jumping off a truck over a ground level BBQ pit. Drunken fool misses and lands smack in the middle of the fire... I never let him live it down! Plus, the burn scars didn't help much...

Not a pickup line but a funny story!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Quick!! Get me some water! My loins are on fire!

[Dharmit]

You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

[Dharmit]

Baby, they say you are what you eat. Just think...I could be you by morning!

[Dharmit]

My car won't start, will you jump me?

[SareEru]

Quick!! Get me some water! My loins are on fire!
:rotfl:

[SareEru]

Dharmy, you're killing me!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

So, you're a girl huh?

[SareEru]

d'oh! ILLB!

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Sare, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.

[SareEru]

HAHA! Now that one made me laugh out loud...and people are staring at me!

[SareEru]

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my a**? No. Damn!

[SareEru]

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

[Dharmit]

I've got a hot dog, you've got a bun. Lets put em together and have some fun!

[SareEru]

Just for ILLB...

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Dharmy, you have a hot dog??? *confused*

[Dharmit]

Hahaha! I don't use it.. it's just one I've heard before! You are such a goober ILLB!

[SareEru]

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

I know... if you DO have a hot dog, I might switch teams b/c you are so fine.

[SareEru]

Are my undies showing? ["No."] "Would you like them to?"

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

They don't call me Lance-A-Lot for nothing, you know. :)

[Dharmit]

ILLB.. if I weren't married, I'd give you a romp.

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Was your dad a baker? Cuz you have some nice buns...

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Can I take your picture Dharmy? I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas.

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

Can I dip you in chocolate?

[ILikeLostBrunettes]

You are so hot, you melt the elastic in my underwear....

[Dharmit]

mmmmm... chocolate!

[Dharmit]

Medievil pick up line ~ Once a king always a king; once a knight tis not enough!

[Dharmit]

Pardon me milady, but I heard that a broadsword is ideal for loosening a knotted corset, And I have a VERY broad sword!
(and no ILLB.. I don't have a broad sword either)

[badboy]

Did you hear they re-arranged the alphabet? They put U and I together

[camelsmoker]

F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Hilda?

[badboy]

Girl: Excuse me do you have the time?
Guy: Of course, but do you have the energy?

Girl you so sweet you just gave me a dental cavity

[SareEru]

You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

[Um, my eyes are brown]

You're full of sh**!

[camelsmoker]

Excuse me, have I f**ked you already?

[camelsmoker]

You might not be the best-looking girl here, but lovin' is only a light switch away.

[SareEru]

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

[camelsmoker]

My favorite: You look stupid enough to f**k me, how about it?

[SareEru]

That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?

[badboy]

Excuse me I'm about to go home and masturbate, and I need a name to go with the face.

So are you here looking for a nice guy or are you willing to settle for me?

[TheTempest]

Actual lines used on me--

Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (No.) Enough to break the ice. Hi my name's (_____)

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Are you from Tennessee?
Because you are the only ten I see

How would you like your eggs tomorrow morning?
Scrambled or fertilized?

Hi, my name's ( ). Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

Guy: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ...
Me: I am wearing underwear.
Guy: Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.

I'll have to throw in 2 sweet ones that I got a kick out of--

Did it hurt?... When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt?

Do you have a quarter? ... Sorry, my mom told me to call her when I meet the girl of my dreams.

Cheesy I know... but they both got a dance out of me. :D

[Rocky Raccoon]

Those.......WORKED?

[LPU]

I know, right? I definitely need to chat pesty up more!

[Rocky Raccoon]

[Guy walks up to TheTempest]

"You, me, sex, now."

"You had me at 'me'."

[melanie]

aaaaahahahaha, Pesty:)

I never get cheezy lines....thankfully.

I did have a guy ask me if I liked Pink Floyd; as in- walked up to me- having never seen or spoken to me before, and woo-d me with this all characterizing question. ;)

I, of course, answered yes, and we were fast in love...lol. Later I was told it was his LSD and my incredibly huge early 90's hair that guided him to me....

I think I might have even learned this before we started living together :shock:


Yeah....I'm an odd girl :)

[TheTempest]

Oh, come on guys!! I'm not that easy...

Wait! I'm not easy period!!!

:rotfl:

[LPU]

Dang...

[TheTempest]

I'll be easy with you, LPU.:nanabobo:

[melanie]

Oh, come on guys!! I'm not that easy...

Wait! I'm not easy period!!!

:rotfl:

LMAO :)

But he asked in such a COOL way!

And, really, 15 years later, he IS finishing a Ph.D. in English at Berkely and keeps getting voted San Fran's best Commedian... So, my judgement's not too bad ;)

[LPU]

I'll be easy with you, LPU.:nanabobo:

Likewise.

[awesome_cupcake]

Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.

[Dezie]

Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.

[Gilligan]

Even in this thread, this one is crass, but it's true. I was once in the company of an African-American football player at a college when a perky young blonde coed walked past. He looked her up and down and smiled.

"You're cute,'' he said. "Do you have a little black in you?''

She smiled back. "No, I don't.''

And he said "Would you like one?''

[Dezie]

Even in this thread, this one is crass, but it's true. I was once in the company of an African-American football player at a college when a perky young blonde coed walked past. He looked her up and down and smiled.

"You're cute,'' he said. "Do you have a little black in you?''

She smiled back. "No, I don't.''

And he said "Would you like big one?''

fixed.

[Gilligan]

Dezie:

That's not what he said. The quote was accurate. It didn't need to be fixed. I assumed he was talking about an embryo.

[Dezie]

:rotfl:

[scotpgot]

I'm wearing my big-boy pants today! :naughty:

[Dezie]

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

[awesome_cupcake]

Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

[John]

Baby, with us it would be an act of love.

[King of Snake]

"Your eyes are like spanners. They make my nuts tighten"

Oh, who am I kidding? That's an awesome chat up line