View Full Version : Jack's Oneliners
LadyJustloomdeppsync
03-18-05, 06:46 PM
Ok Sawyer has his thread of one liners. That's a given why. Charlie also has his, also a given. Hurley might have his own just have looked, but Jack is left out. I know his quotes aren't funny, but his always have some kinda of poetic thought behind them (like Locke's life lesson quotes) i just thought i'd put up a post on the quotes Jack has made that stood out in our minds. And if you can't think of any that's fine, but maybe this will make you think about what he says more.....
From "White Rabbit" the complete and utter point of the show-We need to learn to live togther or we're gonna die alone
Now tag you're it!
disrguard the quote below
ThatHippieKid
03-19-05, 12:08 AM
I kinda liked the
"Whats a garden without guava?" from Hearts and Minds. Tres cute ^_^
MsJustsyncfox
03-19-05, 03:32 PM
I love in "House of the Rising Sun" after the whole Charlie and the bees thing when they were running with their shirts off (WHOO! JACK TAKE IT OFF!) and then they found the black and white rocks and the "adam and eve". I love when after that Kate and Jack were heading to the beachand she stopped and thought he was checking her out....If I was checking you out you'd know it.
I just love his facial ex-pression and how he he tried to pass it off as he was thinking REALLY REALLY hard about the caves as he stared at Kate. Yeah Jack you were thinking about the caves. We believe you...:rolleyes
One of my fav Jack quotes is from "All the Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues" when Kate asks him "Would it kill you to give the guy a little space?" (meaning Locke) His response? "Yeah, it might"
MsJustsyncfox
03-22-05, 07:58 PM
Another one of my favorites is "I think I am going crazy".:) It comes from the episode White Rabbit.
LadyJustloomdeppsync
03-22-05, 11:08 PM
Ok I like the thing he kept saying to Kate in the begining..
"We should al be able to star over"
Hints my signature
Pink Pinker
03-24-05, 10:48 PM
How about in "Homecoming" after he gives Sawyer the gun and Sawyer starts going on about the marshall and Jack goes "Yah I remember the marshall. You shot him, and missed."
And anytime Jack told Sawyer to shut up in "...In Translation" makes my list.
LadyJustloomdeppsync
03-26-05, 03:25 PM
i love when he kept telling Sawyer to shut up it was hillarious. I just wanted Jack to just deck his ass then finally we'll see the fight we've always wanted to see. I also loved when in "Confidence Man" after Sawyer was stabbed and he kept telling him to .."stop moving dammit!" and to "shut up and keep still" also in the pilot this is one of my faves
" No, you can do this. I'm telling you. If you wouldn't mind." he was all trying not be overpower to Kate who he just met... it was great! :D
MsJustsyncfox
03-26-05, 03:30 PM
In the episode All The Best Cowboys Have Daddy Issues, they were searching for Claire and Charlie. When they split up to go on the two different trails, Kate says that she wasn't sure if she was going the right way. Jack says "So where did you pick up the tracking skills, Kate? Was that before or after you were on the run?" :eek That shocked me when I saw it.
ThatHippieKid
03-27-05, 12:08 AM
Stewardess: How's your drink?
Jack: Fine.
Stewardess: Fine? That's not a very strong answer..
Jack: Well, its not a very strong drink..
:D
LadyJustloomdeppsync
04-01-05, 05:22 PM
Ok my mind is blanking out. I could've sworne I posted this already.. so if it ends up somehwere i'm sorry...
My new fave quote is from Deus Ex Machina when Kate goes to thank Jack and she says she knew it was the last thing he wanted to do and he goes....
"I didn't do it for him."
The looked on his face and the smile on Kate's perfect aww moment...:D
trishaislost
04-01-05, 07:55 PM
I loved that line. Jack just conveys everything in such a clever way. Too bad Locke/Boone had to ruin the moment!
LadyJustloomdeppsync
04-01-05, 08:00 PM
I was gonig to say that too, but didn't want to piss everyone off. So i kpet quiet.
Yes doesn't Jack just have a cute way of letting soemone know something without actucally saying it. Or at least he lets us know what he's trying to say.;)
My favorite is when the raft is burning and Sawyer (favorite character) starts to muth off about Jin. Now, let me quote.
"Sawyer...shut up!"
Bloom Fan77
04-02-05, 04:27 PM
I love in Deus Ex Machina when he says:
"Kate, I'd love nothing more than to check the guy out and make sure he's ok, but we both know all I'm gonna get for my trouble is a snappy one-liner, and if I'm real lucky, a brand new nickname."
That last part cracked me up! :lol
MsJustsyncfox
04-06-05, 01:16 AM
Another one of my favorites is "Alright, if you see or hear anything, anything: run." I thought that was cute.;)
Newman1970
04-06-05, 08:27 PM
In Walkabout, when Locke throws the knife and it lands inches from Sawyer's head, Jack hands the knife back to Locke and says, "You either have very good aim (looks at Sawyer), or very bad aim.."
azteclady
04-06-05, 08:58 PM
Newman, I had completely forgotten that one! And,let's admit, it's probably one of Jack's best!
From Do No Harm.
"Hurley, if you faint, I swear to God!"
ThatHippieKid
04-08-05, 12:48 PM
Yeah, EGIVM I liked that one too...
MsJustsyncfox
04-16-05, 01:35 PM
Me Three..Me Three (Jumps up and down raising hand argeeing with EGIVM):rollin
Another one of my favorites is in Do No Harm when Jack is trying to save Boone, Jack says "Boone, listen to me. Listen! You are not going to die. I'm going to fix this, okay? I am going to save you." Me and LadyJustloomdeppsync were over my house and we were crying.
LadyJustloomdeppsync
04-17-05, 03:30 PM
I remember that...:(
I have two that are pretty good from "Confidence Man" when he goes to confront Sawyer about the inhalers and Kate comes up...
Jack- I'm going to kill him.
Kate - That's not going to help us get the medicine.
Jack- Maybe not, but it'll feel good.
Kate- So what's stopping you?
Jack- We're not savages Kate. Not yet.
I just loved how intense he was...
MsJustsyncfox
04-17-05, 06:44 PM
Another one of my favorites is in the episode Whatever the Case Maybe. Jack says to Sawyer "That's the antibiotic I've been giving you for the knife wound in your arm. You're right in the middle of the treatment cycle now, if I keep giving you the pills you're going to be right as rain. But I'm going to stop giving you the pills. And for 2 days you're going to think you're all good, then it's going to start to itch. The day after that the fever's going to come and you're going to start seeing red lines running up and down your arm. A day or two after that you'll beg me to take the case, just to cut off your arm." :eek I thought that was good.
Bloom Fan77
04-17-05, 09:47 PM
^^^^ me too.
I think Jack has so many great lines (that i can't think of right now) Especially how he delivers them.
Jack: All guns are back except one.
Kate: Who?
Jack: I'll give you three guesses.
Michael: Did you listen to your dad when you were growing up?
Jack: Yeah I listened, Maybe alittle to well.
Jack: Well, whoever digs their fingernails a half inch into their palms probly weren't dreaming about ponies.
That's why the SOX will never win the series.
ThatHippieKid
04-22-05, 01:21 PM
Boone: Maybe we should do one of those hole things? You know, stick a pen in the throat.
Jack, very sarcastic: Yeah ok, you go find me a pen!
*Boone scampers off*
"You know why they call it a tie? Cause you gotta tie it."
I thought that was funny. And then his friend answers.
"You know why they call it a clip on? Cause you clip it....on."
HAHA
ThatHippieKid
04-23-05, 01:25 AM
Awww yeah I loved that part... Only funny part in the whole ep, aside from Sawyer. *sigh*
LadySTX
04-24-05, 06:50 PM
I loved in "Pilot 1" when Kate is sewing up Jack or right about too and he says....
"You can do this I'm telling you, if you don't mind.."
AWWWW!!!! love that Mathew/Evangeline icon!
Got another.
"He didn't die. He was murdered."
LadySTX
04-29-05, 01:13 AM
Are you talking bout mine?
Yeah! I don't like the Jack/Kate thing, but that is so cute!
MsJustsyncfox
05-05-05, 12:44 AM
I liked it when Kate was trying to get Jack to lay down. Kate gave him something to help him sleep. Jack said "You drugged me". (I could be wrong on the exact quote.) The look on his face was priceless as he went to sleep.:lol
Kate: I made you something to eat.
Jack: What's in it? (after being drugged already from Kate in his drink)
LadySTX
05-05-05, 03:54 PM
I don't remember his exact words. I remember him yelling "What did you do? Where were you?" But i just loved it when he was running up to Locke screaming and yelling. Just perfect. I loved how at the funeral they kept showing Jack's reactions when Locke was trying to explain himself. He just had this look on his face that he was about to go crazy. Just a great moment dialog and all. Oh and i loved when he yelled.."You son of a Bi***!" i was like Yeah!
Lost In His Eyes
05-05-05, 08:23 PM
Oh! I know what you mean! When they kept showing his face while Locke was talking I was like 'Oh man he's gonna kick you ass!' It was great! He just looked so pissed off! It was awesome!:rollin
"Because dinosaurs are extinct."
ThatHippieKid
05-06-05, 01:30 PM
Yeah I loved the "You drugged me!?!" line and the look on his face. Priceless. I loved the look on Kate's face as she watched him fall asleep too. ^_^
LadySTX
05-06-05, 09:03 PM
I loved when Kate went to go find him and he comes out of the jungle and goes "what are you doing Kate?" and she said "looking for you." and then he looks at her and say
"Well you found me."
The look on his face and the way he delivered it was so funny! :rollin
Jack:"You drugged me?"
Kate:"Yeah."
Jack:"Oh. *chuckles* OK." *passes out*
Kate:"Night."
*Jack wakes up*
Kate:"I made you something to eat."
Jack:"What's in it? Chloroform?"
LadySTX
05-07-05, 02:13 AM
When she handed him that thing with soup in it I immediately thought... "Is that the wacky paste stuff that made Boone see his sister get eaten?" Off course i was yelling "DON'T JACK! YOU'll SEE KATE GET EATEN BY LOCKE RUN!" ..........:| Don't ask.
"Are they cute?" "The girls that are checking me out."
LadySTX
05-07-05, 02:45 AM
One's kinda cute and the other's trashy.
"I don't know what you're capable of."
THANK YOU!
ThatHippieKid
05-12-05, 11:44 AM
"How do we open it?"
"How many drinks did you have at lunch dad?"
LadySTX
05-12-05, 10:57 PM
"I don't know what yoou're capable of doing." When he said that to her i rasied some hell.... Let's just say he will be apologizing in full!
"I didn't fix you, you fixed me."
"Save me some, for, for the wound."
Sure Jack, for the wound. Filthy alcoholic.
elizabethalcazar
05-13-05, 02:30 AM
I really liked Jack in the pilot, and since, that love has diminished some what, because he was kind of snarky and cool then. When he was asking Kate to help him with the stitches on his back and he asked her if she'd ever sewn before.
K: "I made the curtains in my apartment."
J: "That's fantastic. Look, could you give me a hand here?"
HA! It was just a funny delivery, like, "Lady, I'm bleeding here, you want to do something about it?"
"Trust me, when I'm checking you out, you'll know."
trishaislost
05-14-05, 11:53 PM
Locke: What'd she do
Jack: Why don't you ask her?
"Instead of taking responsibility for it he just put it on fate. Said he was made that way."
"Well you need to seriously consider giving that license back!"
"I didn't fix you. You fixed me."
AAAAWWWWW!!!!!! I loved that!
"I'm not deciding anything!"
Hurley: Why not?
elizabethalcazar
05-17-05, 04:49 PM
"That's why the Sox will never win the World Series."
HA! I'm sooooo glad my hometown boys proved him wrong.
JOHNNY DAMON'S MY HERO!
"This is a woman who blew up her own shelter, now she's talking about seeing black smoke and hearing whispers, I mean she's not playing with a full deck."
MistyBlueAngel
05-20-05, 07:28 AM
i loved this in Raised By Another, coz this was Kate and Jack's only just-the-two-of-us scene in the episode:
[Shot of Jack walking on the beach in front of the fuselage. Walks up to Kate.]
Jack: Well this is a first, you standing still, middle of the day doing nothing. Amazing.
Kate: I'm doing something.
Jack: Yeah, what's that?
Kate: I'm sinking. Water goes out, takes the sand with it and you sink. I used to do it with my mom when I was a kid.
Jack: Ah, new plan, you're going to just sink your way right off the island. Sayid would be proud.
Kate: He's been gone for almost a week.
Jack: Something tells me he'll be okay.
Kate: So what are you doing this far from the caves.
Jack: Bringing water down, bringing fish back...
I wish he added, "Looking for you..."
LadySTX
05-22-05, 02:05 PM
In "Exodus Part 1" when he went to give the gun to Sawyer...
"Lumber Jack...I never asked what you did in the real world. I'm guessing Lumber Jack.."
The look on Sawyer's face was pricless. And Jack was so serious! I was like ummm...no..
First encounter with Ana:
I'm sorry...do I know you?
Do you like to play games John?
feenie1010
05-27-05, 12:37 AM
Oh all of these are oh so good.
I can't remember it word for word but last night when he told Kate "You guys want me to be a leader but when I make a decision..." it's the ending I can't remember but basically they hate it or want it their way.
So glad he said that!
Dr Jack Shepard
05-28-05, 07:33 PM
"You want me to be a leader until I make a decision you don't like."
"I don't believe in destiny."
"You're not going to open up a box that has explosives on the side with a pick axe."
*In answer to Charlie asking where Shannon is because Boone is hurt*
"I don't know where she is!"
His reaction was quick but very well done.
Desmond: "But what happened to..."
Jack: "I married her!"
It was so heartfelt. I loved it. Something really important happened to Sarah. I know it!
There are loads, but my fave at the mo is
"The last time I saw the computer that was going to save the world, it didn't look like that!"
That was just a classic :)
SwanChick111
10-09-05, 04:46 PM
I'm not sure if this counts its a locke quote too but I loved when they were in the Hatch and Locke told Jack he had to press the button. And locke said:
"Why do you find it so hard to believe, Jack?"
Jack: "Why do you find it so easy!!!!"
Locke: "Its NOT easy!"
but how Jack just yelled back "Why do you find it so easy" was just..like perfect. I loved that part. Jack says so many great things. I wish I could remember them all.
I hate to sound like a picky b*tch, but I can't help myself.:lol
Locke doesn't say, "It's NOT easy!"
He says, "It's never been easy!"
SwanChick111
10-09-05, 08:05 PM
oh yeah! haha my bad. I wasn' tsure if I was right or not.
LostOnOahu16
11-09-05, 05:43 PM
Oh, there are just so many:
Jack: "I had a girlfriend once who told me I talked in my sleep."
Claire: "What did you say?"
Jack: "I don't know...whatever it was...she didn't like it."
(Locke says some jarble about destiny)
Jack: "Did you talk with Boone about destiny, John?"
Jack: (to Sarah) "I'm gonna fix you."
(Asking Sawyer about his headaches)
Jack: "Have you ever had sex with a prostitue?"
Sawyer: *gives him an "I hate you" look*
Jack: "I'll take that as a 'yes'. Have you ever contracted a sexually transmitted disease?"
Sawyer: *gives him a "DIE!" look*
Jack: "I'll take that as another 'yes'. When was the last outbreak?"
I especially loved how he clicked his pen really hard in Sawyer's face at the beginning.
My favorite that hasn't yet been posted:
Kate: "I want to come with you...for old times sake?"
Jack: "You'll miss the raft launching."
Kate: "Yeah, well...I'm not very good at goodbyes."
Jack: *pauses* "Get your stuff."
I don't know why this is my favorite. I guess it's because it was like they were apologizing to one another without the apology.
penster
01-19-06, 10:51 PM
I can't remember Jack saying anything that I really liked until The Hunting Party:
"How long do you think it would take to train an army?"
Bring on the war on The Others!!
redneck once removed
02-04-06, 11:51 AM
"you'll need stitches..............................
Charlie, I need to know that you're never gonna do Anything like this ever again"
"We're gonna have a Lock(e) problem" (to Kate)
and when he had his Locke-ish moment w/Boone
"Don't tell me what I can't do!" (crazy!)
"The person I'm seein, He's not there!" (to Locke)
"This morning a woman, Joanna, died.Just going for a swim. He tried to save her! And now you're ready to crucify him?" (about Boone - so dramatic)........"Then find another way to contribute!" (directed at Sawyer,lol)
and of course
(to Sawyer, about the Marshall)
"You MISSED?! You punctured(?) his lung! It'll take hours to bleed Out!........yeah, he'll feel it!"
I can't remember Jack saying anything that I really liked until The Hunting Party:
"How long do you think it would take to train an army?"
Bring on the war on The Others!!
Definately! But I don't think they'll beat the Others. I mean, c'mon. You think they won't get wind of them wanting to start a "war" against them.
But maybe this idea will finally get the Others to tell us about them.
Lost_RuNNeR
02-04-06, 08:18 PM
Lol I seriously doubt they'll win. If it comes to guerilla warfare, i'd bet on Zeke...
: "But what happened to..."
Jack: "I married her!"
It was so heartfelt. I loved it. Something really important happened to Sarah. I know it!
My favorite Jack quote also. Fox is good at conveying 'honest' drama.
Maybe he merely broke out in tears because he had to accept desmond knew him...
Homer Noodleman
02-16-06, 08:36 PM
"Shutup John."
boonian androphile
02-16-06, 11:32 PM
"Shutup John."
:thankyous
azteclady
02-17-06, 01:57 AM
Me three. [What Homer said]
Lost In His Eyes
02-17-06, 02:20 AM
"Shutup John."
Best line in the whole episode!
He actually just said, "Shut up."
and if he says that again, I'll kill him.
He actually just said, "Shut up."
and if he says that again, I'll kill him.
:thankyous EGlVM!
You're welcome, thank god I'm not the only one that wanted to ring his bitchy little neck.
You're welcome, thank god I'm not the only one that wanted to ring his bitchy little neck.
You're not alone in that at all. It's pretty much a weekly feeling for me. ;)
[/threadjack]
Same.
Except...scratch "weekly" and try "daily".
Fave Jack line?
"Oh my God, I'm being eaten by a bear! Oh the pain! The Pain!"
Okay, maybe that was wishful thinking...hehe
Sorry.
I'll admit, I liked "I am standing here in front of you in the same suit I am wearing to my fathers funeral and I am asking you to do this because I need this to be done!"
Something like that. I've (sadly) only seen that epi once and I'm going from memory.
justafan
03-30-06, 04:55 PM
Newman, you're right, that was a great line.... typical "Jack sense of humour"...
LostOnOahu16
03-31-06, 12:06 PM
"How 'bout you deal again...This time from the top of the deck."
*after Sawyer asks him how he knew he'd go all in*
"Because there's a bunch of people watching us, and you don't want them to see you lose...again."
"When I want the guns, I'll get the guns."
Hodgepodge
04-02-06, 12:14 AM
..."When I want the guns, I'll get the guns."Without a doubt! Probably his best line to-date.
Oh please, that wasn't a good line.
The writers are just changing the word "spot" to "guns". That's kate's line. The writers need alittle creative writing classes if you ask me.
xXxJessiexXx
05-10-06, 08:06 PM
After watching last nights eppy i liked these
(Why do you find it so hard to believe… )
"why do you find it so easy!"
(Yelling) Nothing is going to happen!
"You sure seem calm for someone who believes the world's going to end in the next 45 minutes."
"Because the last time I saw a computer that was going to save the world, it didn't look like that."
"Do you ever think that maybe they put you down here to push a button every 100 minutes just to see if you would?"
(Yelling again) "Why are you running? You don't even know what you're running from?"
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