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View Full Version : DAGfighting: Where Justice is Served. Round 1: Vick vs. Schlicter


The Central Scrutinizer
08-21-07, 07:08 PM
DAGFighting: Disgraced Athlete Gladiators

Round 1--Michael Vick vs. Art Schlicter


Professional Athletics hasn't become a thug culture overnight. There have been bad apples ever since the leather helmet days. We're just learning about it quicker and in more depth thanks the the Internet. It probably wasn't but a few hours after Abner Doubleday laid out the concept of baseball that some buffoon wasn't trying to figure out how to gain an edge.

Some sporting scandals occur within the confines of their own sport. Some involve true illegal activity. All of them are a blight on the big picture of professional sports.

The purpose of DAGfighting is to bring justice by voicing your opinion.

I will set up a match between two disgraced athletes from the same sport. Maybe they even played the same position. Since these boneheads are constantly finding new and interesting ways of bringing shame upon themselves, their crimes will probably not be similar.

The two gladiators will compete in a fight to the death. The rules of this fight will be determined by YOUR post. Will they have weapons? Will they fight barehanded? Who will win? "Winning" in this case is who survives.


HOW IT WORKS:


I post a poll with two choices. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT choose who you think would win based on their physical attributes. Instead, use your conscience to weigh their transgressions: Who would you PREFER to see SURVIVE the deathmatch? (ie, whoever you'd like to see killed, choose the other guy) Vote for your preferred victor.

Then make a post to describe the fight, the victory, whatever. How did he go about it? Weapons? What will his prize be? Has your victor already paid his debt to society? Was he wounded in the fight? Permanently scarred? The more ironic, the better.

Enjoy the DAGfight, where YOU are the Judge, the Jury and the Executioner.


ROUND ONE: Michael Vick vs. Art Schlicter


In this corner, wearing Dalmation spotted trunks, we have Atlanta Falcons Quarterback: Mr. Bad Newz himself, Michael Vick (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Vick). In 2001, Mike was the first pick in the NFL Draft. In only a few short years, he became the starting Quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, inking a 10-year contract extension to the tune of 130 million dollars. In one of the most sensational downfalls in the history of professional sports, Vick was asked not to participate in the 2007 Falcons season after allegations Federal dogfight charges. Vick pled guilty to funding and helping to operate an illegal kennel where dogs were raised and killed. You've read the sordid news stories about gambling, fake name and all the other stuff, so I won't rehash them here. Mike's happy story is the inspiration for this thread.


In the far corner, wearing blackjack table green felt shorts, is one-time 4th overall pick in the NFL Draft and former Baltimore Colt, Art Schlicter (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Art_Schlichter). When he graduated from Ohio State University, he was career leader in total offense. While a strong On-field General, Schlicter also proved to be a pitiful gambler, winning almost as many bets as John Daly on a bender. His gambling caused him to rat out his bookies to the FBI for fear of being forced to throw games for the Colts. Suspended by the NFL, he continued to gamble and was reinstated, but was later busted in 1987 as part of a huge sports betting operation. He was tacitly banned from the NFL when Commissioner Rozell forbade him from signing with another team and was turned down on later bids for reinstatement.

Ladies and Gentlemen....are you ready to rummmmmble?

Rocky Raccoon
08-21-07, 07:28 PM
Schlicter. At least he didn't spread herpes.

Oh. Right, description. Too lazy right now, maybe later. *shrug*

MaxPower
08-21-07, 08:11 PM
Here's an easy description suited for Vick's defeat. (more like the transcript.)

Vick: First things first, to the death.
Shlicter: No. To the pain.
Vick: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
Shlicter: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Vick: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Shlicter: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Vick: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Shlicter: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Vick: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Shlicter: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Vick: I think your bluffing.
Shlicter: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
Shlicter: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!
[mouth hanging open, drops sword to floor]

Yeah, I know he doesn't actually die, but this seems much better....


And I know this is sports thread, but I know you all guys know the source of ^^. :)

The Central Scrutinizer
08-21-07, 08:54 PM
This really is a fluff round to take everyone's temperature on the concept as a whole.

Pairing an animal killing STD spreading thug against a gambling addict may seem like a lopsided question, but the QB position and the gambling allegations are too juicy to ignore. Besides, this is mostly about meting out proper justice, as certain sports powers-that-be don't really have a knack for that.

John Charles
08-25-07, 01:16 AM
Vick should win in a Deathmatch. He's has exercised more enrgy into creating death and lifetime problems. He is way more practiced then Arty baby boo boo. It is just that the more skilled individual win the competition.

TheBigCat
09-04-07, 05:24 PM
This aint about skills, Longs. It's about justice. And if there ever was a pro football player deserving of a chance to redeem his name it's Schlicter.

Put this another way. Put it in the light of Shoeless Joe Jackson vs Pete Rose. Specifically the one thing which ties these two players who played decades apart together, MLB Comissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti. In his brief term before his untimely death from a heart attack Giamatti accomplished exactly two things. He banned Rose and reinstated Jackson.

That reinstatement is still controversial. It was the final step in the rehabilitation of the image of Jackson, long after his death, a process which was begun by Roy Kinsela with his book Shoeless Joe and continued when Kevin Costner made the book into the movie Field of Dreams, which along with Eight Men Out made big the fact that Jackson had hit over .400 in the World Series, and therefore must have been innocent of the charges. They completely glossed over the fact that he did indeed take the bribe, and then he turned around and welched.

My point here is that in banning Rose, Giamatti gave Jackson redemption of which he was completely undeserving. Now that Schlichter is well beyond the age where he can play football professionally, he deserves that opportunity, and the basis for this statement on my behalf is the fact that he did rat out his bookies because he didn't want them forcing him to throw games. He placed the well being of his sport ahead of himself.

Therefore, Schlicter should get the opportunity to do to Vick what Vick did to all those dogs. C'mon, Art. You can do it.

Warthawg1
09-04-07, 06:12 PM
Um.. I hate to tell you this, but Giamatti did not reinstate (http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=950DE6DA1430F932A2575BC0A96F9482 60) Joe Jackson.

He is still banned today (http://www.cincypost.com/sports/1999/keecol061199.html).

TheBigCat
09-05-07, 02:53 AM
Really? Wow. And for 18 years I have been under the impression that Giamatti did.

Thanks for correcting that, Pumbaa. :D

Still, my thesis on the comparison is valid. In the public's eye, thanks to Kinsela and Costner, Shoeless Joe has been rehabilitated, call it historical revisionism. I still feel that Schlicter deserves the opportunity to take a stick to Vick and, to put it in term he (Vick) would understand, beat him like a useless dog.

Warthawg1
09-05-07, 04:44 PM
Yes, I can take no exception to the comparison you made. I just wanted to point out that Jacksons record has been purged in the publics eye, but not
officially.

I would even go so far as to say he is probably forgiven even in the eyes of most within MLB, but I wanted to defend Giamatti here as I admired the logic behind his decision to not overturn the previous ruling despite overwhelming pubic public opinion.

TheBigCat
09-05-07, 08:57 PM
Here here.

:Cheers: