PDA

View Full Version : Choose me a monologue- The Acting Thread


Darkshines
10-13-07, 08:47 PM
Completely selfish, I know, but can be used as further dicussion about shows, class etc.....

I have to choose a monolgue for class, I will performing it, interpreting it, directing others as they act it etc, and I have managed to narrow it down to three monologues I really like. And I cant chose between them. This is where you come in! I would love your views on this, basically lil help needed? Oh, and the passages below contain non PG13 language, basically a little cussing. But I think the F word is in it, so yeah, no kids please....


"When we were starting out, I told Raquel: the only one cardinal rule, of this nasty business we call show, this is what I said, I said Raquel, there are three T's in entertainment. Which ia a fact, incidently. I mean Raquel's fucking illiterate so she wouldn't notice, I jsut wanted her to use it as a pneumonic device, but if you actually spell entertainment, it has got three T's in it.

ANYWAY

I told Raquel, those three T's are: talent, teeth and tits. Now Raquel's only six, she'll be seven in November, so shes really only fully developed in talent department right now, but shes doing her best with the rest. I mean, I show her, give the world a big smile, like they can't keep their eyes off you, and then thrust forth your bosom like a Cockney songbird. THRUST. Raquel's a bit young to know Barbara Winsor from anything other than Eastenders, but I've shown her photographs of when those hills were alive with the sound of music if you know what I mean. And its adorable now, before she goes in for an audition, I'll just say to her "RAQUEL?!", call her to attention like, and she just looks up at me and whispers "teef and tits, mum, teef and tits!". Still, Raquel and I get into these stand offs really, it just feeds on itself and gets worse and worse. Because I will take her in for her first audition of the day, she'll ALREADY be in a mood, and then she'll bollocks up the audition and that makes me livid, and so we end up like now. Its no surprise we aren't speaking. I mean today was just unforgivable really. They're changing casts, right? IN LEZ MIZ. And you can't imagine how hard I fought to get the audition, I mean, it would have been slightly easier if Raquel signed with a better known theatrical agent, but I do feel she's the kind of talent that won't get hidden under a bushel so why piss away the extra ten per cent?

NONETHELESS

For an old warhorse like LEZ MIZ, they really don't want someone like me demanding an audition. But I did, and I coached Raquel into poignant perfection, choreography and everything...

She she sings, with her OWN choreography.

"There is a castle on a cloud,
I like to go there in my sleep,
Nobody shouts or talks too loud..."

I mean, you know the show, you know Raquel, wouldn't she be perfect? The pathos. Imagine. And thats what I said to Raquel before she went on, I said, I want you to make them fucking WEEP, torture them, stick them with pins, I don't want a dry seat in the house when your through. And I gave her a Chinese Burn and pushed her onstage. And she was spell binding. Little hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Bobble and Showenberg have never been so thrillingly interpretated, not since Micheal Ball, and I realised that Raquel does, HONESTLY, have what it takes."

"I didn't think I could get back. Itwas raining really hard, straight into your eyes. I got onto the road, started hitching- all these huge lorries went past, they all had their radios on. Yes. I could hear! It was Leonard Brazil, it was. He was coming from every single lorry. But none of them stopped. So I STOOD STRAIGHT in front of one of them and waved, and he HAD to stop, or flatten me, and he stopped all right, and he opened his door, all smiling and everything, and I got in, and you know what, the seat next to him was still warm, and covered with chocolate. Somebody had been sitting there just a moment before- a girl. I knew he was going to try and kill me then, yes, on the motorway, in the dark, on the side, where nobody could see, you know, get me on my back and jam a stick of lipstick down my throat, and I'd hear Leonard Brazil on the radio, and suddenly it'd stop, and I'll be dead, and they'll find me in pieces, in a bundle, in the mud, been assaulted, flies in my eyes, and all that. And pictures of me on the telly, me being lifted up and wrapped in a sheet, you know. But nothing did happen. Nothing at all.

I wanted it to.

You know what I wish? I wish I had smaller breats. Then I'd get to play some women with smaller breats, and they're always the best parts. I'd really like to play women with no breats at all, you know, like in Ibsen. I should have never done the centrefold. I'm actually very versitile. "An impressive, multifaceted performance"; thats what they said about me as Jenny Grubb in "Loving". And that wasn't just taking off the glasses and letting my hair down, that was ACTING, actually. I was ACTING her repressed sexuality. What I'm trying to say is, I'm not justsome stupid girl from Elmhurst with a fucked knee, you know? I'm not just the countess of cleavage, all right? Its so hard to convince people I'm a serious actress, but really I think its begining to happen. I've got an audition for the Royal Shakespeare Company. And last month I did "The Persuaders". Only the pilot mind, but both Roger Moore AND Tony Curtis were VERY complimentry and said there was a good chance my character could become a regular.

Darkshines
10-13-07, 09:03 PM
Thanks to those reading the thread and still not contributing! :nanabobo:

Lostaway
10-13-07, 09:14 PM
I like the second one to be honest. It has a good emotional ring to it. Sad, but good.

TheBigCat
10-13-07, 09:16 PM
*reads first monologue*

*dozes off*

*wakes up*

*reads shines's second post*

*sighs*

*gets coffee*

*reads second monologue*

*gets espresso*

*reads third monologue*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So is the object here to show your instructor how well you can turn crap writing into entertaining theater?

Darkshines
10-13-07, 09:34 PM
*reads first monologue*

*dozes off*

*wakes up*

*reads shines's second post*

*sighs*

*gets coffee*

*reads second monologue*

*gets espresso*

*reads third monologue*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So is the object here to show your instructor how well you can turn crap writing into entertaining theater?

Exactly! We take the raw material and turn it into something good. I'm personally leaning towards the second one out of the three.

TheBigCat
10-13-07, 09:40 PM
Dear, I think that whichever you chose you will have your work cut out for you. Pick the first one. It's longer. And if Jaye P Morgan and Gene Gene The Dancing Machine don't *GONG* you half way though you'll get an "A".

Darkshines
10-13-07, 09:41 PM
Right. Thanks. I think.

cinderellabop
10-13-07, 09:56 PM
Speaking as someone who has done many monologues, I like the third one. I would do that one. I would rock that one, in fact.

vincentstuntdbl#23
10-13-07, 11:26 PM
*wants to pick monologue from West Wing* :D

ozchick
10-13-07, 11:51 PM
Shiny, I'm going to recommend the second piece. As a former drama teacher, I believe monlogues about theatre can be difficult. The second one has some great acting moments going on, and a fantastic "button" at the end. Without having read the play, I want to know more about her. Why does she want to die?

I had to laugh at part of the first one. Right now I'm playing Mavis in Richard Harris' Stepping Out, and I have an almost identical "three Ts" speech. Except the third T is Tonsils, after teeth and tits.

Darkshines
10-13-07, 11:56 PM
Thanks Ozchick, I really value your advice :)

ozchick
10-14-07, 12:19 AM
Glad to help. I'm not teaching theatre anymore, and I do miss it. I love stuff like this.