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Old 11-13-17, 04:52 PM   #56
azteclady
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Looking for trouble and raising hell.
Posts: 14,675
Re: International Women's Day 2016/2017

Why does it take women so long to speak up about sexual assault?

Oh let me count the reasons.

Harvey Weinstein hired people to threatened some of his victims.

Roy Moore has ridiculed those of his victims who have spoken up on national TV, and Breitbart has announced that they are sending two 'reporters' down to Alabama with the specific goal of 'finding dirt' on them.

One of the things being trotted out is that at least one of these women has married/divorced three times, and have declared bankruptcy at some point.* I mean, who would think that being sexually abused as a child would have negative effects on the child's development? What a freaking concept.

Beyond the fear, constantly reinforced, that there will be real consequences (rape and death threats are not uncommon), or that victims will not be believed, even by close family members, there are many other reasons women don't come forward for years, if ever.

One of them is how girls are socialized to have no boundaries.

How many of us were told to give uncle/grandfather/family friend/kindly person on the street a hug and a kiss during family visits/the holidays/whatever the occasion or reason?

I know I was forced to allow physical contact from people who gave me the serious creeps from a very early age. The same went for my sister. My brothers, however, were allowed the manly handshake, or the smile and nod, without being called to task for lack of manners.

Girls grow up internalizing the idea that they do not get to define their personal boundaries--not physically, not emotionally. It takes years, if it ever happens, to overcome this subtle and pervasive conditioning.

And this conditioning affects our ability to understand consent--for both women and men.

It teaches boys that when they are men they don't have to respect women's boundaries.

It teaches girls that, when they are women, they must defer to men's definition of their own boundaries.
“The notion of consent may seem very grown-up and like something that doesn’t pertain to children,” says Girl Scouts’ developmental psychologist Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, “but the lessons girls learn when they’re young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime, and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older. Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help.”

~ * ~



* but gee, if it's a white orange-tinted dude with this history, it's perfectly reasonable to elect him to the White House. No white male privilege there, no siree.
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